British number one Dan Evans has admitted he was “disgusted” with himself during his 12-month drugs ban.
Evans was suspended for a year after testing positive for cocaine in 2017.
The 30-year-old has turned things around and currently sits at a career-high 28 in the rankings, but he says he still “reflects” on his ban.
“Some days, you still think, ‘that was stupid’ – but I don’t look back and hate myself like I did during the ban,” Evans told My Sporting Mind podcast.
“You’re disgusted with what you did, but you have to move on at some point.
“I just feel grateful for when I get out on the court.”
During his year away from the game, Evans sought the help of a sports psychologist, who described him as “one of the angriest people” he had ever spoken to.
“He [the psychologist] said I had so much pent-up anger from the ban and how I was speaking about things,” added Evans.
“I left social media when it happened. I was worried what my peers would think, and the people watching.”
Upon his return to action, the All England Lawn and Tennis Club did not give him a wildcard into Wimbledon, so he had to enter a pre-qualifying event played on school courts.
“I had a few issues with trying to get back to play and getting into tournaments, and I wasn’t getting the easiest of help from the people I had helped before,” he added.
“I had played for my country a lot, and they were not so forthcoming with helping me get back into tournaments.
“That’s where the anger came from. It was difficult.
“But we all sat down and got it out of the way. Luckily I got back on court and that was that.”
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